Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Flakes and Fakes


The Road --Winter

Currier & Ives,

Bridgeman Art Library.


I awake to find my small world under a snow globe this morning. The steady gentle fall turns the light from my Lantern Waste street lamp into a soft golden haze. Beyond is the encircling, silent dark.

Apparently, a good half of the continent is under a Storm Watch. The driving blizzard winds will come later and the speeding rumble of plows; but for now, my world is surrounded by tranquility.


Did you believe that sometime the acceptance of a manuscript depended on the toss of a coin? Think again. The Canadian Medical Association Journal reveals in a Yahoo report that "coin tosses can be rigged."

The CMAJ's annual report on quaint studies also indicate that "quarantine and cure would only delay the inevitable spread of a zombie outbreak."
(Another good reason to keep road salt by my front stoop.) And they have a mathematical model to prove it.

And last night I received a call informing me I had been selected by Ma Bell to receive a free cell phone, a hundred free minutes, etc., etc. -- if I would only provide -- for verification purposes only, you understand -- my SIN number or, failing that, my credit card number. Riiiight.

The zombies haven't gotten my brains yet. I didn't even have to toss a coin.

30 comments:

jason evans said...

That storm is heavy rain for us down here. I hope you have a blanket and a warm drink.

writtenwyrdd said...

We're supposed to get a dumping of snow today and tonight, too. It's also gotten cold, down below ten degrees for the last couple of days. Winter, it seems, has arrived!

Bernita said...

We may receive the rain later in the day, Jason.
This place had a little black airtight wood stove in the old fireplace. It valiantly produced just enough heat to save the pipes during the infamous ice storm of '98.
Since it was only used in emergencies, only recently did I discover it was not installed according to present code. I ordered a new one. It will be delivered Friday. Gulp.

Bernita said...

Yep, Written. A Thousand Mile Storm.

raine said...

We got rain, snow, & ice last night.
Rain at dawn. At the moment the sun is out. Mother Nature with pms.
We're expecting snow this evening & tomorrow with 60 mph winds.
And I generally don't use road salt--it hurts the animal's feet. But with the news of the possible zombie outbreak, may have to consider it...

Bernita said...

The projected wet snow and winds worry me most, Raine. Power outs.
Here, we don't have much choice about salt, since the alternative is a skating rink. It's used on the streets and sidewalks.

Whirlochre said...

Bizarrely, here in Ein Girl Hand, we have clement weather, with sun predicted for the next few days.

After that, it's zombie showers, with the occasional vampiric gust.

As for all those Freebies In Exchange For Information deals, I fear for the future of the Freebie...

Bernita said...

Don't gloat, Whirl.My back aches in anticipation of the inevitable snow-heaving.

This freebee was a scam.

BernardL said...

The Internet e-mail scams are prolific. I've already won enough lotteries, according to my e-mail, to become a billionaire many times over. :)

Charles Gramlich said...

rigged coin tosses? Is nothing sacred?

Bernita said...

Oh me too, Bernard.
According to www.phonebuster.com, the telephone scams are almost as prolific - and in some cases,scary.

Now I understand the smirk that appears on actor's faces after they've won a toss in some movies, Charles.

laughingwolf said...

they likely had a lot of takers for that, bernite :(

one nasty storm is to hit us late this afternoon: snow/ice pellets/winds... then turn to rain and a 'low' overnight of 8C, before going below freezing again...

Dave F. said...

It was sunny at 10am. Cloudy and overcast at 12 noon. One pm brought a thunderstorm with lightning and hail and now 1:30 has brought the sun back. And it's 53 degrees F out there. Tomorrow's low and high is expected to be half that at 26F.

I guess it's better than watching the clothes spin around in the dryer...

sex scenes at starbucks said...

We've got major cold and snow, frozen pipes, the works. It's supposed to gradually warm up all week. You know. To 20.

Bernita said...

You are going to get what we are getting, LW!

Dave, the Weather Channel is much more exciting than clothes-in-a-dryer.

"...gradually warm up all week. You know. To 20."
~snicker~
Betsy, after a stretch of sub zero, 20 begins to feel balmy.

moonrat said...

remember to stockpile lots of canned goods. useful both in a blizzard and in a zombie seige.

also, do enter my contest if you can be bothered... i'd love to see who your writing inspiration is.

ORION said...

Well the winter storm has reached us here in the middle of the Pacific...it's a chilly 74...

Bernita said...

If I remember the results of the zombie test, Moonmouse, I have a 70% chance of survival...

Thank you. I'll try. (Feel rather shy about it.)

Now, Pat, be nice!

Chris Eldin said...

Jason said it better than I...
;-)

McKoala said...

Sunny and 30s (celsius) here, snicker.

So good to see you popping up all over the place again Bernita!

Bernita said...

Chris, I shovelled all bloody day...

Nice, McKoala. Thank you.

StarvingWriteNow said...

Brrrr down here in Ohio! The snow is just blowing around at the moment. Nothing too exciting yet; that will likely get saved for afternoon drive time!

Bernita said...

I can feel the urge to hibernate coming on...

Vesper said...

I know it's December and that we live in Canada, but I'm just not mentally prepared for snow, no matter how beautiful the landscape becomes. I guess some part of me was secretely hoping it wasn't going to come this year... :-)

Demon Hunter said...

We're supposed to get some snow tomorrow. And some wintery mix. :-/ Cool, if I weren't traveling.

Scams abound in this economy, unfortunately. :-/ I feel sorry for the folks that don't know any better.

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Just to make you all envious, the sun is shining here in Auckland, New Zealand with warm, comfortable temperatures.
Both my son and husband were out of town last night, so I was alone and I'm sure I heard the zombies creeping about the house.

Gabriele C. said...

We finally get the cold - I was wating for that, I hate warm winters - but not the snow.

Lana Gramlich said...

We already had snow here, too...Albeit for a mere couple of hours. That's enough for me for the year, anyway!

archer said...

NJ weather is dull. The weathermen always have to sensationalize the weather. Right now it's raining, but on cable they're all like, "and this terrifying storm is about to stomp on the helpless upturned face of the Eastern Seaboard again and again and again."

Well, okay, I exaggerate, but not by much.

Bernita said...

And to think, Vesper, when we were kids we used to roll around in this stuff...

"winter mix"...can be dangerous for travellers, Tyhitia. The sneaky ice underneath.Be careful. Watch out for idiots.

"I'm sure I heard the zombies creeping about the house" ~braaains~ And you're a prime target, Suzanne. Me, I'm just a snack.

Gabriele,if you lived here, you'd have a surfit.

Lana,I agree. I'd be quite satisfied if it snowed Xmas eve and melted on Boxing Day.

Perversely,Archer, I feel vaguely disappointed when a GREAT, TERRIBLE,SAVE-THE-WIMMIM- AND-CHILDREN storm turns out to be an ordinary blizzard. All that scurry and adrenalin wasted.