Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Time Was, Time Is

I have written and discarded this post a hundred times.
Because Blogging belonged to Before. And this is After.
Because I had nothing to offer.
Accounts of the dreary protocols surrounding death and intimations of personal anguish make for depressing reading. There is no singularity in sorrow -- so I could not see inflicting mine on you all.
But for far too long I have not thanked you from the bottom of my heart for your messages of compassion and concern and loving kindness. They comforted me.
Though some days are still very hard, I am well.
It has been so long since I have visited blogland that I feel much like a POW or some returned castaway from a lonely island. This world has naturally moved on and I am a stranger now, awkward and ignorant.
It will take time.

43 comments:

Ric said...

Every day for 8 months, I have clicked on the link to my lovely Bernita. Every day, only to find she had not yet returned.
Last night, watching CBC news coverage of Remembrance Day, I thought, "Bernita will have something wonderful, poignant, and insightful to say today."

What Joy! What Rapture!

Happy Remembrance Day, my dear.

Ric said...

Yes!

Bernita said...

Dearest Ric...I am humbled.
After so long away I did not expect any of you to remember me.
I have so much to catch up.

Dave F. said...

I missed you.

Jeff said...

Welcome back, Bernita. I have missed you and prayed for you and your family during the time you have been away.

Charles Gramlich said...

So great to see a post from you today. I was just regretting how many bloggers whose blogs I visited have moved away from blogland. It's good to see Bernita return. Welcome.

moonrat said...

im so glad you dropped us a note--it's so good to hear your voice, even briefly. thank you.

Sarah Hina said...

You could never be a stranger.

Welcome back, Bernita. Take all the time you need. We'll be here.

Natasha Fondren said...

Oh! Bernita! I'm all gushy and teary-eyed. *throws my arms around you* *squeezes*

I'm so happy to see you! I've thought of you every day. Awww, it's so good to see you, Bernita!

Whirlochre said...

Good to hear from you again.

Time was, time is — and time will be.

Bernita said...

I missed you too, Dave, but I had the need to hide.

Believe me, Jeff, your prayers helped.

I hope I can stay, Charles. Thank you.

Dear Moonmouse...

I have missed all your lovely posts, Sarah.

Natasha, you sweetheart. ~squeezes back~

Thank you, Whirl.
I've thought of all of you often but I was just too raw to write.

Steve Malley said...

In the presence of your simplicity,

your honesty,

your eloquence,

I am humbled.
It's good to see you again.

Kate Thornton said...

I am so very glad to see you here, Bernita. I have missed you terribly.

Love, Kate

Bernita said...

Steve, Kate...
There are no words.Thank you. I have missed you.

writtenwyrdd said...

I am so glad to hear from you and know you are back. Take what you need for yourself, dear Bernita, and do not feel you must be wise, insightful or anything FOR anyone else on your blog.

Angie said...

However much time you need, we'll still be here. And if you're a bit different when you're ready to return, that's perfectly natural. Whatever you need, hon. [hugz]

Angie

BernardL said...

I hope you can find solace in visiting with us as we do in reading your words.

raine said...

I came back here just Sunday, thinking how much I missed the writers' sharing, the paintings, the gardening--everything.

Dear Bernita, you have been sorely missed. It's enough to know you are well. Please take your time with everything else.
{{hug}}.

Bernita said...

How GLAD I am to find you are still in cyberspace, dear Written.

And you, Angie. Hugs back.

Bernard, Raine, you all make me cry.So many kind thoughts and prayers.You are such a blessing.

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

You're back! You're back! Woo Hoo! Welcome, my dearest!

sylvia said...

It makes me so happy to hear from you! I'm speechless (and that doesn't happen often!)

Rick said...

Welcome back, Bernita! Blogworld is now one beautiful mind richer!

Bernita said...

Sandra,you honey! Am glad to see you have another book published. I remember your first helped me during the months of hospital visits.

Sylvia, thank you. Sorry about that but I am glad to see you.

Kind of you, Rick. Thank you.A lovely thing to say.

Scott from Oregon said...

Loads of love, bernita.

Piles and piles...

Demon Hunter said...

Glad to have you back, Bernita. You're certainly no stranger. ;-)

Bernita said...

Thank you, Scott.
~cries~

sex scenes at starbucks said...

You're never a stranger to us! Welcome home.

Scott from Oregon said...

big sloshing buckets full...

pacatrue said...

I too was immensely pleased to see your name appear on moonmouse's blog. Welcome back.

Bernita said...

Thank you, my Demon, and for your message of comfort during the dark times.

NICE photo icon, Sex!
And thank you, dear Girl.

Oh, Scott!
~cries again~

Thank you, Pac.
Moonmouse - I am constitutionally unable to write "rat" in association with her - is another who gives the lie to this business of the "cold-hearted industry."

laughingwolf said...

dang, how'd i miss this post? i check regularly, too...

anyway, great to see you back!

take your time getting re-accustomed, never any rush! :)

just so happy to see you back!

stacy said...

We're glad to see you back, Bernita. We missed you!!

stacy said...

BTW, Stacy is formerly Freddie. I went ahead and "came out" when I got my music website up.

Bernita said...

Laughinh Wolf, Stacy...thank you. You warm my heart.

Lana Gramlich said...

You have been in my thoughts, hon. I'm glad to see you back.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Lana. And thank you for your kind message earlier.

s.w. vaughn said...

Bernita! I hoped you would come back. I kept checking - and then today I saw a comment from you on another blog, and here you are!!!

So glad to hear your voice across the spaces again. Welcome back.

(((hugs)))

Bernita said...

Bless you, S.W. and hugs back.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Dear friend Bernita...I'm so glad to see you back. It has been a long time coming, and I have prayed for you wholeheartedly. God bless you my dear, and I have read from the end of December to here
:-)

J. L. Krueger said...

Bernita!

So glad to see you back. As you may have noticed I've neglected my blog for over 2 months. Been busy in Afghanistan and I took leave over the holidays. I did note that you stopped by my blog. I'm now in catch up mode.

Bernita said...

Bonnie, your prayers were like a warm hand in the darkness.

JL, thank you. I was concerned at the absence of posts and worried.

Anonymous said...

So happy to see you are back. I read all the posts back to November 11.

I'll say something smartassy soon enough.

Asa

Bernita said...

Dear Anon...