Friday, November 23, 2007

Glass Slippers, Sock Puppets, and Boots

Puss 'n Boots,
another lovely Mirko Hanak illustration,
from European Fairy Tales.

BTW, I consider Puss the original LOLcat.

Warning: Long post.

In case you have ever wondered why I don't comment on current religious or political issues, I'll quote Jill Miles from her Nov/9 post at The League of Reluctant Adults:

Everything you say on your blog becomes a platform. If you don't like red shoes, and you say so, the friends of the red shoe brigade will come out in droves to defend. Everything - even on your 'private' (ha ha, yeah right) journal must be scrutinized.

Since my views on certain types of red shoes are mordant, I don't need the diversionary hassle.

Go figure I.
But people will get up a posse and pursue with pitchforks over lesser things. Ello suffered an invasion of netzombies over an intelligent and thoughtful Oct/5 post regarding a writer's (Khakpour's) reaction to a bad review.

Go figure II.
And it seems that Patricia Cornwell ( has put out an imamic call to the faithful over bad reviews of her latest book.

And for more on the subject of shoe fitting and painful feet, ie. word count and calculation, Bookends' Nov/ 16 post and Mark Terry's on Nov/20 -- especially his agent quote: Writers worry too much about stuff like this -- should prevent blisters and bunions.

For an attractive style of footwear -- that is, delightful humour, check out Ms.Karen's Blog. Her Tuesday post made me howl.

Have You Met This Woman?
From A Malignity:

Before the tinkle from the string of sleigh bells announcing my entrance subsided, a thin, black-haired woman in her late forties slid from the open door marked "office."

She was not the elderly curator I had encountered a year ago over several relics the museum acquired, including a haunted axe from a sensational turn-of-the-century murder case.

I should have quizzed Ted for background. Between the "girls" at the front desk at city hall and his wife, who was a member of one of the museum's supporting societies -- as well as about every other committee going -- he heard all the dirt. He had mentioned a power struggle of some sort. This woman must be the winner.

"We're not open until one o'clock."

I waved my clipboard at her. "Are you in charge? I have a request for investigation of unusual psychic activity."

"Oh. Yes. So you're one of the..." Plucked eyebrows elevated. "And you are...?

I told her. She looked me over with a kind of avid disdain, one little finger brushing at the corner of her mouth as she registered my name.

I took sour pleasure in noting that her elegant suit and matching heels clashed with her muddy aura.

But then I didn't care for vampira-purple.

"Very well. Come this way."

And Since It's Friday...
A WTF from my spam filter:

incur a bouffant phallus.

The critics are right. Adjectives really are dangerous.


StarvingWriteNow said...

"incur a bouffant phallus"

a) how do you "incur" one?

b) "bouffant" gives me an image of an erection with a big pouffy wig on top.

(succumbing to giggles now...)

Bernita said...

And, Starving, with a moustache and glasses like Groucho....

Church Lady said...

I took sour pleasure in noting that her elegant suit and matching heels clashed with her muddy aura.

But then I didn't care for vampira-purple.

End quote.

I LOVE it when you get playful! That's really nice writing!!

Bernita said...

Thank you, Chris.
~pondering "playful"~

Julie said...

...Love the acid 'sour pleasure';
More widely have already run across a couple of folk in a fortnight of blogging who have reverted to comment moderation after being targeted for critical (if justified) posts.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Julie.
The ability to disagree politely and reasonably seems beyond the capability of some minds.
They swarm.

Dave F. said...

I was first spammed over an honest opinion in 1994. The Internet hasn't changed.

I like the generational clash you set up. Vampira purple and plucked eyebrows. I like it.

SzélsőFa said...

I've also noticed what Ch.L. did and liked it too!
re:trolls. It must be very difficult to handle them while not cutting your readers off of your blog at the same time. Knock on wood, I have no experience with blog-trolls.

Shesawriter said...

bouffant phallus......

For some reason that sounds awfully painful. ;-) The things these people come up with. LOL

raine said...

BTW, I consider Puss the original LOLcat.

Beautiful illustrations, btw...

I read the Cornwell thing. Sigh...with all the internet exposure about authors behaving badly/strangely, it's a wonder readers don't think all writers are a little weird by now...oh, wait--we are! :-O

But it's Friday, and Lillie is on the case--yay! (Love the haunted axe). I feel better. :-D

Charles Gramlich said...

Love that puss-n-boots sketch. I like the scene in the library as well. Nice crisp observations.

The Anti-Wife said...

Everyone has a sacred cow - though some are stuffed. The need to vehemently defend them sometimes amazes me.

Loved the latest piece of Lillie.

spyscribbler said...

Wow. Something about this whole Patricia Cornwall mess scares me. I'm not sure what. Probably the possibility of taking such a drastic dive in skill ... and maybe sanity?

Gabriele C. said...

I'm glad you don't post about politics. There are enough blogs for that, and except for Making Light and Scalzi's Whatever I read none of them. :)

Vampira-purple. *grin*

And why do I never get the funny spam, only the boring lotteries? *sulks* :)

Bernita said...

Thank you, Dave.
I think some should go back to writing on washroom walls.

Thank you, Szelsofa.
The "delete button" is our friend.

Certainly weird, Tanya!

I keep the book just for the illustrations, Raine.
Her version of the conspiracy theory was just a little much.

Hanak combines magic and charm, Charles. Thank you.

"Everyone has a sacred cow - though some are stuffed."
Good one, AW! Thank you.

The reaction in the comments at Dear Author sums it up pretty well, I though, Natasha.

Bernita said...

That stood out, Gabriele, among the boring lotteries.

Lana said...

I love that illustration! You find some of the most wonderful art out there...

Julie said...

Bernita, just seen the war docu that had parts based on the book I ghosted. Excellent, and v moving.
Details on mine.

Travis Erwin said...

mhoFrom Puss and boots to bouffant phallus ... add in some great writing and you have one of the best blogs going.

Thanks for keeping me entertained.

Church Lady said...

When more of your voice shows through, Bernita. That's as close as I can come to explaining 'playful.'

Bernita said...

Glad you liked it, Lana!

I'm sure it is, Julie.

Travis, you're very kind. Thank you.
(The snippit is only there today because it had shoes in it!)

Bernita said...

"ok, Chris," she said in a small voice.

Ello said...

Hey I know that woman! She works at the Tiffany's shop and loves to chase shoppers out with only one raised eyebrow!

You feed my Lillie obsession with these excerpts! I just can't wait to read Malignity!

I loved that picture too!

writtenwyrdd said...

Wow, Bernita, this is the first time I have heard someone else got something bizarre that I received as well. I think that one landed in my spam folder on Wednesday. Sheesh.

Nice gesture with the pinky. And never before used to my knowledge. I think if I were the one who dreamed up that character, I'd have dressed her in rose pink, because I don't like that color. So I'm assuming you loathe purple.

Chumplet said...

I tend to shy away from politics and religion in most on-line discussions, but I guess my opinions leach through once in a while.

So far I've had no nasty trolls on my blog, but if I do, I'll treat it as a sign that I've "arrived".

I think I have that Arabian Nights book downstairs somewhere. We bought it at a yard sale years ago for the kids.

Sam said...

So true about the red shoe brigade. I was lynched by them myself online. Had an awful time.
And love the description of the lady - vampira-purple - how perfect!

er...bouffant phallus? That's quite an interesting combination of words. Never would have thought about it myself, and I write erotica...

Bernita said...

Thank you, Ello. My present rate of progress is giving me fits!

I don't loath purple exactly, Written, in fact, lilac shades are quite nice, but it's not my favourite colour and I never wear it.I like pink - in moderation.

Mine may vary dramatically, depending on the issue.
I don't know which is worse or more persistent, Sandra, trolls or sock puppets.

They can be as "devout" as cult members.
Can't see "bouffant" as erotic in the slightest, Sam.I suppose they intended to imply "big" but "fluffy" doesn't do it.

December/Stacia said...

Yep, it's those little personality-filled asides that add the spice. Love it!

I had to turn on the word verif for a while last year because someone took offense to my comments defending Miss Snark and started harassing me through emails.

Bernita said...

Thank you, December.

I have serious trouble understanding objections to Miss Snark, and even more trouble understanding objections to your defense of her.

Church Lady said...

Oh man (she says, shaking her head and definitely NOT wringing her hands).

There are certain lines that seem to come from your heart, naturally. The lines that come from the well of who you are.

I meant this as a compliment. Sorry the compliment is obtuse. I will go back to my hole now...

Bernita said...

Chris, Chris, I wasn't insulted, just a little puzzled by your choice of words.
( if I do something right, I want to know as much as when I'm doing something that doesn't ring right.)

david santos said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Church Lady said...

Please delete David. He happened upon my blog this morning with the exact same message.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Chris.
Seems he's spamming for hits.

Julie said...

Bernita, you may pick this up on Charles blog, but just to say I've run into a problem in that it appears google can trawl all these blogs and comments - everything is accessible to the public unless they are restricted to invited readers or authors only.

I assumed I'd cancelled general access on mine but that isn't the case. Doubt there is any harm done, but I need a rethink as we have a lot of contacts.The discussions have been good. Keep you posted,


Bernita said...

Julie, I'm sorry but I'm bewildered. I have no idea what you are talking about.

Julie said...

bernita -

Have re-opened the blogs, after talking to son in IT.

There are ways to restrict search engine access

(Yahoo etc) but Google owns blogger and so everything that appears on blogs is accessible to the general public - comments the lot. I didn't want anything too personal coming into the public domain as this is a small pond compared with the US, and we have a lot of contacts.

Just going to take slightly tighter precautions about what goes in print. Hope this makes sense; just didn't want people wondering why they'd been closed out!



Julie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.