Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Alpha Girls

Did You Say Chicks?!,
Baen Books, 1998.
ISBN: 0-671-8786-6.
Edited by Esther Friesner.
Cover art by Larry Elmore.

Thou who play'st no girlie games
But kickest butt and takest names...

Discovered this paperback the other day in the course of some professional promotion - read: chatting up the owner of a book store.

Ok, it was a used bookstore, but it's the only one in town, and she 's putting up a poster of the Weirdly cover.

People who buy used, buy new too, yanno.

Did You Say Chicks?! is the sequal to Chicks in Chain Mail, and needs to be savoured slowly - with a mouth guard.

Have been laughing myself sick over things like the Ladies Aid & Armor Society and the Bronze Bra Guild.

With exquisite care, she licked one claw and turned the page of a thick book on the reading table before her. Her other claws peeled back a nicely blackened suit of armor, making a sound like like the foil coming off a chocolate bar... from A Quiet Knight's Reading by Steven Piziks - a tale of a dragon who reads Chaucer and whose goldhoard is books.

It was just another night in Hrothgar's Hall, high Heorot, and the bloodstains on the plank floors hardly showed at all. Men sat at the long boards, drinking and swapping lies. From A Big Hand for the Little Lady by Esther M. Friesner - the real story behind Beowulf.

I'd broken three nails defending our profits and the priests' integrity, and lost one of my best greaves into the bargain, the one with the magical inscription that protects me from crow's feet, so by the time we reached the One-Handed Virgin, I was in a really foul mood. From Blade Runner by K.D. Wentworth.

And there's a story by Margaret Ball set at the Thud and Blunder SF/F con called Tales from the Slushpile, which reads eerily accurate.

A truly chortle-worthy collection. Not to be read in front of your computer without handi-wipes.

Pimp Report: Tracked down another talented writer with a tale in the Weirdly anthology: Rae Lindley. See her very attractive blog here.


writtenwyrdd said...

I read Chicks in Chainmail when it first came out. Wish I still had that book. It was really hilarious.

The reason I bought it? The title.

Jaye Wells said...

I want that book. The title and cover alone deserve to be framed.

Anonymous said...

I want chain mail.

Robyn said...

I've seen Chicks in Chainmail. Love it.

Bernita said...

So is this one, Written.

Think you'd love it, Jaye.

Find a SCA group, Seeley. They always know an armourer.

Robyn, this is like unto it.

Gabriele C. said...

Have you an idea how heavy mail is? And it chafes when you wear it as bikini - not to mention it leaves important parts of your body without protection. :)

Bernita said...

Yes, I do, Gabriele.
But why discourage her?

Angie said...

I love that series -- wonderfully funny and some really great writers have contributed. :D


Demon Hunter said...

Okay, I've got to read this... Thanks, Bernita! :*)

Bernita said...

Indeed, Angie. Several of my favourites.

It's just pure fun my Demon!

spyscribbler said...

The Bronze Bra Guild? Hah! That's something!

Ello said...

That was hilarious! I love used bookstores. As a poor college student, I lived in my local used bookstore on Coney Island Avenue in Brooklyn. I mourned its closing with a vengeance. I don't buy used books when I can buy new at the bookstore, but for alot of titles that are no longer published, I love buying used!

By the way, I loved your Soul Stone first line! It is on my list of faves at my blog!

Charles Gramlich said...

I haven't read the "Chicks" series of books, but I read their precursors, the "Barbarian Swordsperson" stories of George Effinger, which were quite funny.

Bernita said...

Giggle-worthy, Natasha.

I'm always hunting down out-of-print, Ello.
I am so pleased ( and astonished!) - there were hundreds of excellent entries. Thank you.

Then you would really enjoy the "Slushpile" story, Charles.I think it contains an in-joke reference.

A Paperback Writer said...

Bronze Bra Guild? oh my. That is good.

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