Monday, April 30, 2007

Green Scene


design on a box of facial tissue - now recycled.

End of Earth Month.

I didn't notice - was too busy mud wrestling with Mother Earth in the back yard, raking, pruning, fertilizing.

Re-using the empty bags from top soil and manure to compost more leaves, weeds and flower stalks after the bins are full. Chunking dead falls and trimmings for the BBQ - which is made of recycled cement blocks. The ashes go on the gardens.

I have never liked waste.

I was Green before it became a religion.

And before its priests announced High Holy Days.

Seems my creative genes have weird pockets.

I've had occasion to sent care packages to various children in various parts of the world and have found that adequate wrapping paper is hard to come by.

Since we have two dogs we buy hernia-size bags of dry dog food.

These bags, when separated, produce three large sheets of paper suitable for wrapping said packages.

That's my Green tip for the reduce, re-use and re-cycle congregation. Brought to you by the Enviro division of MommyCorp.

I've always wondered though - about the effect of kibble-scented packaging on any drug-sniffing airport dog.

28 comments:

Erik Ivan James said...

~laughing~ There have been many-many times, Dear Gal, when I have thought that you ought to write humor. Your sense of humor is absolutely wonderful.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Dear Guy...
But... but...I'm perfectly SERIOUS.

writtenwyrdd said...

I can tell you as an ex-dog handler, that food smells will often distract the pups, but the properly trained team will get around that because the handler can tell the difference in the alerts. The dog, after all, only gets rewarded for finding the drugs/ money/ illegal aliens/ explosives...

What a great tip! I'll have to check on the cat food bag...

April went by fast, but now I k now it's May because there is a snow storm on the horizon. We always get snow the first week of May, lol.

Steve G said...

I find the dogs that are used for fruits and such, amazing. Don't try and sneak that apple past them. They'll sit down and stare and then thier handler will asks you to open your bag. And the standard answer is...I thought I ate that.

Bernita said...

Figured that, Written, but still persist in my innocently naughty thought.

There's always the "Eve gave it to me," excuse, Steve.

Jaye Wells said...

My grandmother, who bore six offspring, is famous for recycling everything from storage baggies to bows and wrapping paper. My favorite is when she recycles greeting cards. I can't tell you how many times I've opened a Christmas or birthday card with the bottom of the interior page snipped off and my name neatly written over the void. She isn't an environmentalist. She's just practical.

Bernita said...

Hee, Jaye!
My method is to cut out the front picture of cards, sometimes add glitter, use a hole punch and a short piece of (re-cycled) ribbon and use them for gift tags.

Ric said...

I agree with erik - I thought it was funny. And, with a bit of research, you could use it in a story to confuse the postal folks. Is it Kibble or is it coke?

Bernita said...

Ric, think Written has already indicated that scene unlikely.
I do know all my packages arrived safely and intact.

Bailey Stewart said...

My parents were the opposite, they didn't recycle more than the newspapers and aluminum cans, but they saved. Everything. When cleaning out the garage after my father died we found used spark plugs, tubs of old oil, doorknobs galore ... it's the Depression Era mentality. With mom it was twist ties ...

Sam said...

We were in the airport when one of the drug sniffing dogs dashed straight to my son's backpack, stuck his nose in it, and chomped down on his pbj sandwich. The handler was most apologetic, my son most indignant, and most of the people arond us laughing hysterically.

Rick said...

Sam - LOL

Haven't drug dealers tried dousing the goods (or, better, something examined just before the goods) with eau de bitch, leaving the drug dogs - male ones, at any rate - thoroughly distracted?

Bernita said...

Twist ties have many uses, Bailey, she said in a small voice....

I'm laughing hysterically, Sam!

Very likely, Rick - which , of course, would tip customs to examine everything VERY carefully.

briliantdonkey said...

If they are anything like my dog they would give the 'ugggh kibble again/where is the steak?' look first. Interesting use for those bags though I must admit.

BD

Bernita said...

If my dogs tried that, Brilliant, they'd get the "eat it or go without" look from me.

Rick said...

which , of course, would tip customs to examine everything VERY carefully

Which is why the smart dodge would be to douse the eau de bitch, or whatever, on (for example) the car in front of the one with the goods. That car, otherwise clean, gets pulled into secondary, while the car with the stuff scoots through while the dogs still have nothing but sex on their minds.

Cynthia Bronco said...

"Seems my creative genes have weird pockets."
May I quote you? That was excellent!

spyscribbler said...

Hah! That's funny! I wonder what would happen if you threw a treat in there, just to drive the dogs crazy?

I used to be obsessive about recycling. I remember a time that we used to recycle cans for pennies. Bottles, too.

Now they want me to pay a monthly fee, in order to have my recycling picked up. Grrrrr. I really have to call around and see where you can take it, if you don't want it to be picked up. It seems to be a top secret location around here. Probably because they want you to pay. *sigh*

Bernita said...

Rick, if I saw a drug dog humping a backpack, everything/everyone in the queque would get the fine-toothed comb.

Thank you, Cynthia. Feel free. I'm not the first to make a pun on genes.

Our recycling is "free," here, Natasha... but we pay for bag tags for garbage.

Seeley deBorn said...

Recycling has become second nature for me. The town we just left even offered curbside composting. They implimented fines for throwing away somehting that could be recycled.

It almost killed me to put a juice bottle in the garbage at the Las Vegas airport last year.

Bernita said...

Dear me, I hope the Green police didn't actually go through people's garbage.

writtenwyrdd said...

OMG you guys are funny!

Eu de bitch might be distracting! And food is too! So is the opportunity to bite someone if your dog is a police dog, so no trying to kick or punch the working dog. (My dog got a lot of bites that way. Alcohol definitely reduces the brain function.)

So, kibble vs. coke does happen. If the dog isn't going bananas (literally) over food items, the human element is the cause of error, because the handler isn't sure if the dog is alerting falsely on food or on the thing he's supposed to find.

writtenwyrdd said...

Speaking of recycling, you know what kills me living in rural America? The fact that they only recycle clear glass, #2 plastics, milk jugs, cans and returnables.

And when I lived in the big city, I recycled everything I could. Never did find a place to take styrofoam too, though.

Ballpoint Wren said...

How do you compost in plastic manure/top soil bags? Do you need to put holes in the bags?

Do you have pictures?

And it sounds like Rick has thought out this Dog Distraction Theory very carefully!

Bernita said...

Hmm, it's quite comprehensive in this town, but they don't take syrofoam either.

Bernita said...

Bonnie, I just stuff them full of leaves and weeds. I have a place behind one of the composters where I pile and forget them until I want to work the stuff into one of the regular composters.
Some that have been left about a year have composted very nicely all by themselves.
Some bags have a black interior - those I turn inside out before using.

Scott from Oregon said...

I compost EVERYTHING. I can turn a Christmas tree into soil in six months. Here is a helpful hint. Place a sprinkler over your compost pile. In the summer, when rain is scarce but heat is not, the extra water helps in the process...

My dog food bag empties are what hold my empty beer cans. Waste not want not...

Bernita said...

Scott, I have bins, so I just dump in a pail of water now and then.
Here the Xmas trees are collected by the municipality and chipped for mulch.