Friday, December 15, 2006

Ides of December

LucyFest and Follow the Light:
December 13 marks the Feast of Santa Lucia, a ritual for the longest night of the year under the old Julian calendar.
The eldest daughter, wearing an evergreen crown with lighted candles wakes the household with food and drink.

Miss Snark opens a bun-fest tonight at 8:00 EST with the Happy Hooker Crapometer.

Perhaps she hoped to avoid setting her hair on fire.
No, I am not entering. I am happy with my query hook, though I expect to receive illumination by reading the entries.

What a Great Voice Department:
Monica Jackson has free reads on her blog. Beautiful clean prose.

What I Found Yesterday:
A post and pictures of elusive beauty on Patry Francis' blog.

Slit Your Left Wrist Department:
Follow the links from Miss Snark > Galley Cat > Peter Watts blog and his troubles with Tor.

Slit Your Right Wrist Department:
Agent Kristin reports she received about 21,000 queries this year. She requested 54 fulls. She acquired 8. Do the math.

The Amelia Pettipants Mysteries:
On Evil Editor. Scroll down for giggles.

Some Smirkers: (because they are too dumb to be gigglers)
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
If you take your laptop with you on a run, you may jog your memory.
Get too big for your britches and you'll be exposed in the end.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.


M.E Ellis said...

I must start reading Miss Snark again. Time...ugh, it runs away from me.


Bernita said...

Best on-line teacher there is, Michelle.
Don't know why the font changed in this post.
Don't know why blogger says the link to her doesn't work. Fortunately most people probably have her linked anyway.

Ric said...

A couple giggles to start a very busy Friday.
Ak, Christmas is coming. Solstice is coming. Not ready, must start shopping, where did the time go?

Jaye Wells said...

The Agent Kristin numbers are sobering, yet more than anything highlight the importance of persistence. It's easy to get discouraged, but really so much of it is a numbers game. Of course, that is assuming you've surpassed the unicorn stationary set, which anyone reading this blog has.

Bernita said...

Case of humbuggery, Ric?

Probably everyone reading this blog in in that 5-15 percentage ( numbers may vary according to agent or editor) whose first success may depend on timing and luck, Jaye.
It's the claims about the shrinking fiction market I find the most discouraging.

MissWrite said...

Wow I'd think that Peter Boyle thing would be a violation of his contract. I couldn't find 'his' site, but I did get to the Galley Cat site via Miss Snark and see that.

Laughing Out Loud at your gigglers.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

"The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work." LOL...I love that line.

now I have places to spend the day carousing!

I didn't submit either...happy with my, uh...hook!

Bernita said...

Galley Cat did have a link to his site in it's post on the topic, Tami.
Something like - but I'm not swearing to the accuracy of that.

Bernita said...

Eh, Bonnie!
Seems a large number are frenzied, frantic and frenetic over the Crapometer!

Rick said...

Who are those 20,800 people who queried Agent Kristin? Writing even an unreadably bad novel is an enormous lot of work. It's amazing how many people get to the query stage, and that isn't even considering all the half-finished novels in bottom drawers.

Bernita said...

Oc course,one can't assume all those queries related to her genre guidelines,Rick, but the numbers do boggle.

BTW, Bonnie has a wickedly funny post up today comcerning Xmas carols and certain mental conditions.

raine said...

Agent Kristin reports she received about 21,000 queries this year. She requested 54 fulls. She acquired 8. Do the math.


If you take your laptop with you on a run, you may jog your memory.

Oh, I needed that.

Jaye Wells said...

Rick, you've got to assume some of those people are sending feelers. I would bet a good number haven't gotten close to completing a book. The fact Kristin takes equeries probably skews her numbers since it's easier to shoot off an email than find a stamp.

spyscribbler said...

*grumble* I hate math. I especially hate that math.

I do love all the links, though. Thanks!

anna said...

Laughing about yesterdays post! and today's gigglers are a hoot.
You da bomb Bernita
me too better get onto Miss Snark

Bernita said...

Me sigh too, Raine.

Wish those hard numbers were harder, Spy.
Seems we can't help trying to calculate the odds, no matter how useless a game that is.

Thank you, Anna.
Certain to be both fun and educational.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Snark serves a purpose, I suppose. I'm just not big on following her. My loss, I guess.

Bernita said...

Or maybe you just don't have as much to learn as I do, Steve.
I have found her invaluable.

Kate Thornton said...

Miss Snark always gives me a laugh and a lesson - thanks, Bernita, for reminding us of what a gin-soaked, poodle-loving, stilleto-wearing treasure she is. Too Snarky for some, but there's gold among all that brass.

Lady Aeval said...

I think the gigglers are cute!

Bernita said...

Much gold, Kate.

From one of those endlessly circulating e-mails, Lady.

tomdg said...

The numbers aren't that bad. I guess most would-be authors submit to a lot of different agents - I've heard a figure of 100 mentioned (poor people). An author or book can only be "acquired" once. Average 25 submissions and that 8 becomes 200.

Plus, I'm sure a lot of it is dreadful; cut out the people who blatantly can't write and the odds go up again.

I found the crapometer quite reassuring. All the hooks get looked at, so if it's good, someone will like it.

And Rick - writing an unreadably bad novel is easy. I've written three :( Although I wouldn't dream of sending them to an agent. Ok, I sent one to the Crapometer (359), but that's just for fun. And I feel a bit bad about that, given how many entries she got. Particularly since some of them are real writers. Oh well. At least I'm learning from it.