Friday, October 13, 2006

Nine, Ten, A Big Fat Hen...

A White Wyandotte at left.

I'm rather fond of Barred Plymouth Rocks and Bantams myself, but what a bodacious hen.

1. Another of the Quaint Old Books in my library is The American Standard of Perfection, illustrated, A Complete Description of All Recognized Varieties of Fowls, printed and published by The American Poultry Association, 1930.

I consider this book among the first and finest kind of chick lit.

2. A WTF: When Blogger spills coffee on its morning keyboard, one cannot get to Blogger Status to find out what, when and why.

3. Ric will be pleased. I won a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing Erotic Romance from Alison Kent. Or is that The Idiot's Complete Guide...whatever.

4. Agent Kristin has up a couple of valuable posts on referrals in query letters. How you say it. How you don't.

5. People who write poetry might be interested in The Cruelest Month site - there are giveaways too.

6. Via Tami again, another industry site, The Rejecter. I haven't mined this claim yet, but I'm sure there's gold there.

7. Free plot: Has anyone written a story around the postman who hides 15,000 pieces of mail in his basement? Maybe that's where our query letters, partials and fulls reside...

8. Reading that some weasely wannabes write Requested on manuscript submissions - when they have not been - really pisses me off. Doesn't help him/her if the writing sucks and casts suspicion on the rest of us.

9. Like unto that is the unclear-about-the-concept idiot who turns page 50 upside down or inserts five dollar bills between pages of an MS. Made me paranoid about my collation skills until I remembered I never ask for the MS to be returned. Acerbic discussion at Miss Snark's.

10. Afflicted by the enemy syndrome or maybe shoot the messenger: Seems my post yesterday indicated I was the equivalent of a "butt smooching lapdog sycophant."
Dear me.


December Quinn said...

We all knew some day somone would point out that you're a butt-smooching lapdog sycophant. We just don't understand whose sycophant you're supposed to be--I've reread yesterday's post twice and still don't know.

Gotta love those bitter Anons...:rolleyes

I love chickens! I used to have a chicken calendar, and I have chicken bookends and a chicken clock in my kitchen. At first it was just supposed to be funny and odd but now I'm so fond of them.

Carla said...

1. Gorgeous hen! (And looks much more interesting than some of the chick lit I have tried to read).

3. Congratulations! If you post snippets you'll probably put your hit counter in a spin (not to mention Ric!).

7. Yes, Terry Pratchett in Going Postal. Highly recommended.

Bernita said...

Still bewildered, December...

I like hens. They are very comfortable.
That book has pictures of breeds like "Golden Spangled Hamburgs, Blue Andalusians, Silver-Pencilled Wyandottes, White-Laced Red Cornish, Bearded Silver Polish..."

Thinking I might do just that, Carla.Suitably paraphrased, of course.

Oh well then. No one does it better than Pratchett.
I was thinking of a creepy horror angle rather.

MissWrite said...

Oh have no fear no one could ever call you a butt smootching pooch. Your article yesterday was perfectly on the spot.

Don't worry about other idiots making the whole look bad when they do stupid smarmy stuff like stuffing manuscripts with money (hey, it's cool, editors like to eat to, and hey, not above tips, LOL JUST KIDDING) or goofy things to tick us off like upside down pages (cleans glasses, rubs eyes, I SWEAR the words were right-side up a minute ago) we think all writers are nuts.

(LOL, just kidding again, I am a writer too.)

You're welcome on the find. It's fun 'mining' it really is like finding little chuncks of gold along the path.

Oh, and -- I have silver laced Wyandottes.

kmfrontain said...

My hen's are bodacious, but sleek. Don't ask me the breed. No idea. :-)

I missed your mirror post. Been feeling ill last few days and not making my usual number of visits. Waah! And I love mirrors. I used them heavily in my Soulstone series.

I remember that mailman thing in the news. That would be a good plot bunny, wouldn't it. But I have too many bunnies to feed already.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Tami. Apparently there's a mind-set who sees editors/agents as adversaries - demon-spawn and not human...

Very grateful for those links.

You have Silver-Laced Wyandottes!
The names alone are enough to make me want to keep a hen yard. Unfortunately, the bylaws here say only blind people can keep hens within town limits!

Hope you're feeling better, Karen.

I love mirrors too. They are too deep a device to bewasted on character description.

Think ME Ellis, for one, could do something very clever with postmen.

MissWrite said...

Only blind people can keep hens? OMG..rolling. I'm just perplexed as to the logic of that one.

Bernita said...

Think it is the result of a grandfather clause for a specific individual years ago, Tami.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

"butt smooching lapdog sycophant" Now that is a WTF moment...LOL

*gasp* Did I say that???

I'm disoriented and dissheveled today! My neighbors to the-not-so-far away western part of the state had 24 inches of snow yesterday...egads...'tis the season! Where's the snowblower...we haven't even put away the tractor yet!

Ric said...

now that is a plot bunny.

only blind people can keep chickens within city limits.

that is so wonderful.

I also expect to see much usage made of "Complete......"

Bernita said...

I'm shocked, Bonnie!
24 inches? That's brutal!
Seems I gathered that last of my herbs just in time.My daughter north of Toronto reported snow yesterday.
~hibernating mode coming on~

I believe also that if you take your gerbil for a walk here, Ric, it must be leashed...
I'm looking forward to the book's arrival! I have things to learn!

MissWrite said...

lol@gerbil walking on a leash. OMG, I've read some funny town ordinances (reminants of days gone by) but those are hilarious. I still don't see the reasoning for only 'blind' people having chickens... what cause they can't see the alarm clock?

Bernita said...

Think instead it was a case of when the council decided to rid the town of backyard barnyards, someone with impaired eyesight who made their living from selling eggs pleaded special case and became an exception, Tami.

normiekins said... eloquently the truth sometimes hurts!!!

i love the chicken book!

harvested the last of the herb and vegetable gardens here in chicago a week snowed yesterday.

Bernita said...

Cringing, Normieakins.
All the leaves are not down here yet.

Kate said...

Yes, this is interesting. I have been looking for teenage love advice sites such as

Shesawriter said...

That turn upside down thing is just stupid. And I can't imagine somebody being crass enough to put money in the manuscipt. How tacky.