Friday, October 20, 2006

Innies and Outies

Writers are like belly buttons.
The Innies get to cavort and comport with the slush gods.
Outies are Babes in the Woods following an elusive trail of bread crumbs, they may meet dragons and wolves but they limp on.
Sometimes the paths lead to the cottage of the wicked witch, sometimes to the fair castle, sometimes just back home.
Then there are the Outies whose umbilical cord seems still attached - those stop, sulk, and sneer by the side of the dark trail.
Hope is not a faint light, it's a dead end. They believe their swadled genius is lost forever because they were born Outies - without an In.
They are convinced the real secret to the published, inner circle cabal depends on things like Secret Handshakes. Those signals, signs and passwords.
(After all, gangs have them, the Masons have them, even Ben Hur had one.)
When some Outies become Innies, the remaining Outies are certain the success was the result of access to the magical incantation wyk-wyb - loosely translated from ancient texts as who you know - who you blow.
They spend a lot of time writing that inscription in the dust that settles around them - or hoping to find the Secret Handshake Generator somewhere on the spider's web.
And that's the Mixed and Mangled Metaphor for today.


Ric said...

Bit cynical for a Friday, don't you think?

kmfrontain said...

Oh, God. I'm going to be saying wyk wyb all day and grinning. What a mantra.

kmfrontain said...

Still funny as hell, Ric. I'll take any cynical Bernita wants to dish out.

Wyk wyb!

Anonymous said...

Outies probably don't stay writers very long. They're like shooting stars. A big flash when they go, but it's short lived.

Writing is probably the most wide open of the entertainment industries.

Bernita said...

What's cynical about it, Ric? And why does the day of the week matter?
Don't you get tired sometimes of the twitchy, thin-lipped excuses one reads with regularity?

Just call me The Litle Corruptor, Karen...

Bernita said...

I think so too, Jason.
Anyone has the opportunity.

S. W. Vaughn said...

Bernita! Happy birthday!

And THANK YOU for the birthday wishes!

(I'm having trouble reading anything right now 'cuz I'm bawling -- happily -- but this looks like a great post to me. Cynical, shmynical! :-)

Robyn said...

WYK WYB. My new inspiration.

Let's face it. A writer who has yet to publish the Great American novel because no one has appreciated his genius will always wonder how the Stephen Kings and Nora Roberts of this world got published and sell so many books. And authors who have worked and struggled through many, many rejections and classes and seminars to finally sell will always feel slighted by that upstart who sold on her first submission.

Shoot, I get pissy when celebrities who know nothing about writing- so much nothing that they have to have a co-author, get published and sell books primarily because their latest t.v. show features them in lingerie doing a teenage gardener every week. But that's just me.

Bernita said...

She was supposed to keep that dark.
You deserve every good wish, Sonya. Happy, happy birthday, Dear Girl!

The celebrity writers make me shake my head too, Robyn.
And then I think of all the people ( some of them writers) who rave and drool over this actor or that entertainer, and I can't fault the publishers for publishing the celebrity books that will sell. Makes them money, which they can maybe spend on other authors?

Ric said...

wyk wyb - Yeah, Karen, I agree - gonna be grinning all day.

I don't know, Bernita, just seemed like you got a rejection and were growling about it.

perhaps I"M being the cynical one - if so, apologies to all.

All this naval contemplation has me rolling down a slippery slope to the mire at the bottom.

I'm going to work now - try to get a better attitude.

Bernita said...

Ric, just for the record, I didn't.
And just for the record, when I do, I don't growl and whine and blame the establishment, some secret insider cabal, or anyone or anything else for it.
Give me a little credit for maturity, please.

Dennie McDonald said...

what a great analogy...

Ric said...

I am very, very sorry.

Apparently, my day is not going well and it is leaking out onto yours.

Again, apologies.

Bernita said...

I contemplated it, Dennie!

No problem, Ric. Hope your day ends well.

Faith said...

I hate to say it, but knowing someone with influence is always an ace up the sleeve.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

"who you know - who you blow" ....LOL...I like the wyk wyb too!

What did I read?....Happy Birthday?....Bernita? Is it your birthday today? Happy Birthday!

Bernita said...

Of course, Faith. Knowing someone, a recommendation, helps open doors, but one needn't turn connection envy into some deep exclusionary plot.
I hired my plumber on the basis of a recommendation.

My turn to be Evil Twin!Not today but the same month, Bonnie. Thank you.

alexandra said...

As always, Bernita, satirically funny!

normiekins said...

copyright that one....wyk wyb....

celebrity writers are a joke, i'm sorry....i don't think i'll be staying up late at night reading anything that Madonna, Carrie Fischer or Teri Hatcher "loosely contributed to".....what a joke...but then's business and about the bottom line.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Alexandra.

Thought anything on blogs always was, Normiekins.

Nor me either! Bleah! But some people like them.

Bhaswati said...

Clever little post as ever, Bernita.

It's great to drop by here and read your wise words.

Happy birthday in advance. :)

Anonymous said...

I write, because I enjoy it. When I'm published it won't be because of someone I know, or someone I blow, but because someone will like what they see. Hope it's that way for everyone.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Bhaswati. Nice to see you again!
You are reading the signs right for the path to the fair castle, Steve.

anna said...

Wyk Wyb - my god is that all is takes.
As always Bernita, a dry sly wit.
Happy Birthday btw!

kmfrontain said...


I couldn't resist. I just couldn't.

Ha ha ha ha!

Julie said...

Let me mangle the metaphor even further by suggesting that the belly button is a great symbol for writers because it has always been an archetype of birth and creation. And isn't that what writers do?

I just discovered your blog and am blown away. I also use art to anchor my thoughts and I've been searching for others who do the same. I'm glad I found you.

ali said...

I have an outie belly-button. Is that a bad omen?

Maybe I'll just keep chantng wyk-wyb.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Anna!

~evil grin~ Karen!

And I'm glad to see you, Julie!
You will enjoy those who post here as well.

Ali, you're an Innie, no matter what the doctor did!

M.E Ellis said...

LMAO @ belly button!