Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I Counted to Ten


...and then I had to take off my shoes.

The Internet Roadshow of Travelling Jokes isn't really my cosa. Blame it on Bloggus Interruptus derailing my train of thought.
Nevertheless, stick-yer-tongue-out twists on standard, conventional expressions and platitudes always pleasure my inner brat.

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is, like, night.

3. On the other hand...you have different fingers.

4. He was lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

5. He who laughs last - thinks slowest.

6. The early bird may get the worm - but the second mouse gets the cheeze.
7. Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.

8. Get a new car for your spouse.

9. So...what's the speed of dark?

10. How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?

11. What happens if you're scared half to death - twice?

12. Just remember...if the world did not suck, we would all fall off.

13. Light travels faster than sound, which explains why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

26 comments:

Carla said...

variant on 5:
He who laughs last doesn't get the joke.

Terry Pratchett has played with (9), I think. I'm sure there's a comment somewhere in one of the Discworld novels that however fast light travels it always finds that the dark got there first and is waiting for it. Mind you, this might be specific to Discworld where the light travels slowly, "spreading over the land like golden syrup".

S. W. Vaughn said...

LOL -- I love #13! #1 is great too.

Twist phrases are always great. :-)

Happy Halloween, Bernita! (And everyone else too!)

Jeff said...

I needed a chuckle this morning and these hit the spot. Thanks, Bernita.

Bernita said...

Wouldn't be at all surprised, Carla.
~now you've gotten me thinking of crepes~

I was rather struck by the practical applications of the mouse trap, Sonya..
Happy All Hallows Eve to you.

Glad of that, Jeff.

Robyn said...

When the chips are down, the buffalo's empty.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Ric said...

Ah, giggles on this high holy holiday!

MissWrite said...

Thanks for the great smile this morning. :)

Bernita said...

Hee. Good one, Robyn!
You're a doornail, I suppose.

My treat, Ric and Tami.

spyscribbler said...

Speed of dark! Hah! That cracked me up this morning. Thanks!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

ROFLOL...Bernita, you have out done yourself. Those are priceless...and I love #13!

Bloggus Interuptus is the bain of my existence!

Bernita said...

Eagles may soar, My Spy, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...

Hee, Bonnie. Hard work pays off in the future...laziness pays off now...

Steve G said...

All englightening (smile) Here's one for you.

If a tree falls in the forest and no ones blogs about it, does it make a noise?

normiekins said...

you have a great inner brat!!!...i love your list.....ah, how did #8 get in there? the bacteria one i'm still laughing at....and your eagles comment.....;)

Gabriele C. said...

I love 7. It's so true. :)

Bernita said...

Would you say that makes it a b'log, Steve?

Normiekins, from what I read - in some cases it's a fair trade...

I'll blame that one on December, Gabriele.

SassyJill said...

Ha! God those are corny, but classic. Love this lighter side of you.

Bernita said...

Sorry, Sassy. They were new to me.

James Goodman said...

lol! those were quite funny. :D

Bernita said...

Just for a smile, James.

jason evans said...

He was lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

Ha! That reminds me of something Mark Twain would have said.

Bernita said...

Does, doesn't it, Jason?
For all I know it might have been cribbed directly from Twain.

Isabella Snow said...

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

Bernita said...

Your blog titles, Isabella!

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