Sunday, May 21, 2006

Sockburn Worm Meme


All Carla's fault.
~points finger~
Even thoughI'm not really a writer of historicals - since my time travel series entailed research for the periods involved - she invited me to play.

I am a draco, a dragon, a large winged wyvern. Be very afraid. My chief lair is along the Tees valley between Durham and Yorkshire, England.

I want the milk of nine kine, tender virgins, and the odd sheep - but I'll take any wandering, wannabe Champion - helps clean my teeth.

I wish you wouldn't Aske.

I hate William of Normandy, his get, his captains and his constables. Precious little fodder left after the Bastard finished farming the North. I over-eat now just to compensate for those lean, hungry years.

I miss the Viking raids.The rivers ran red then. Free buffet!
Missed those monks from Lindesfarne, too, toting along that mouldy saint, I was just too full to go after them, but that's another story.

I fear sharp pointy things like falchions - and hammer-fisted guys named John. Don't care for the name George either, come to think of it - or minstrels.

I hear that the Prince Bishop, Rannulf, is building again up the river at Dun Holm. You've got to like a guy called Flambard. Did you hear how he buggered off from the Tower?

I wonder how Ms. Laidley is doing. Some bandersnatch! Not a real dragon, of course - enchanted - but these days you take what you can get it on with.

I regret not finding a fresh bed of mint. The serfs and villians can smell me coming.

I am not a crawling worm, you cretin! Don't care how you ignorant scholars and traders mangle lindwurm. I'm a brillig winged serpent. Get that?

I danced from Ida's Tower to Hartlepool and back to Neasham. Took me several centuries though. Had to stop here and there for a meal and to terrify the peasants.They need something to talk about over beer besides soccer and the Scots.

I sing torch songs. What else?

I cry sometimes - when I'm hungry. It just sounds like wiffling and burbling.

I am not always this fat and sluggish. Had to give up flying. I miss gyring and gimbling though.

I made you look, didn't I?

I start by coiling round and round and squeezing, then I fry them lightly and swallow.

I finish most meals by spewing up wool and clothing. I hate hair balls.

I write with my slithy toves. You thought those cup and ring carvings were Saxon?

I confuse spiked plate armour with chain maille. Bad mistake. Should keep up with technology.

I need a decent minstrel. Useless, plucking buggers, the lot of them. Where's my gold hoard? My treasure bed? Where's my beautiful princesses? My magical powers? A cozy, dry cave would have been nice too.

I should not have hung around that loop of the Tees.

Gabriele has a list of real historical character memes.

Regular programming will resume tomorrow.

16 comments:

Carla said...

Bravo, Bernita. Thanks for joining in.

I've always wondered what dragons did with the clothing, especially the armour. Owl pellets. Hairballs.

The nostalgia for the Viking raids reminds me of a line in one of Kipling's Plain Tales, where a crocodile fondly remembers the Indian Mutiny.......

Erik Ivan James said...

Nice change of pace, Bernita.
But you ain't no damn dragon.
Instead, you are the Princess of Dragon Slayers.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Carla. It was fun once I got going.
That would be The Undertakers? with the Adjutant, the jackal and Mugger-Glaut?( I just looked it up)
Probably a subconscious memory of the POV!

Thank you, Erik!
"I can be a small dragon at times" she said in a small voice.

Carla said...

Yes! That's the story. I always liked it, especially the way the others address the crocodile with such fawning respect. Like you would :-)

Bernita said...

O Protector of ther Poor! O Brahamins of the River!
And the Mutiny baby was the one that did the Mugger in!
I like so much of Kipling.
The Black Tyrone and the Little officer boy,The Brushwood Boy, A Habitation Enforced, The Maltese Cat, and on and on.

Carla said...

So do I. Especially the short stories, which are among the best I've ever come across, right up there with Dorothy Parker (and nobody else that I can think of). Every time I consider trying my hand at a short story competition I think of Plain Tales and Big Blonde or The Telephone Call and think better of it. Among Kipling's longer works, Kim is far and away my favourite.

Bernita said...

With me it's a saw-off between Kim and Stalky & Co.
Fond of Stalky because it helped me get through high school.
Re-read them both every couple of years.

Dennie McDonald said...

those were great - LOL!

Bernita said...

Glad they amused you, Dennie.

kmfrontain said...

That's cute. :D

Gabriele C. said...

Dear Sockburn Worm,
I'm so with you about the stupid lindworm slander. Humans don't know a thing about dragons.

Yours truly
Fafnir

S. W. Vaughn said...

Lovely dragon you got there. I don't care for minstrels myself. Sing us a torch song, luv? :-)

Bonnie Calhoun said...

*wahhhh* I understood about half of what you wrote *sigh* Tommorrow, tomorrow, I can't wait for tomorrow...it's only a day away! LOL

Bernita said...

Suuure you didn't, Bonnie.

Thank you, KM.

SW...something like?
"... fever with thy flaming youth,
Fever, I'm a fire,
Fever, yea I burn forsooth...
Fever, till you sizzle...
what a lovely way to burn."

Stupid lot, Fafnir, they even screwed up "Goddamnthering."

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