Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Omen for Outremer


Though they could no longer see the silver wings, they stood in the back garden and listened as the last thunder diminished into the distance of space and time.
The sky quieted and the silence fell like dust.
The man held a bedraggled stuffed dog, turning it over and over without seeing it. He straightened the little jacket each time and rubbed a thumb over the shiny badge on its forage cap.
The only sound was the old swing creaking in the wind.
The woman still searched the horizon.
Three birds, black as crows against the fading contrail, hung high - high as arrows.
She quivered. Her lips barely moved.
The enfolding clouds that rolled in the west broke for a space and sunlight lanced across the sky, gilding the wide sweeping wings with molten gold.
She turned to the man with a slow-curving smile, though her eyes were sad.
"He will be all right," she said with certainty. "He will be safe."
"I have assurances."

28 comments:

Savannah Jordan said...

Oo! Bernita! I love the atmosphere. Chills... And I like how you you used nature as messenger.

Bravo.

Erik Ivan James said...

Ummm, someone help me out here; with adequate words. My well of words is not deep enough.

Ric said...

What a wonderful way to start the morning!
Your gift, dear lady, is unique.

kmfrontain said...

Ow, it's sooo sad. Makes me think of my oldest boy leaving home again. :-(

It was beautiful.

Bernita said...

Savannah, thank you.
It is a true telling.

Thank you, Dear Guys.
Wish it were, Ric.

Thank you, KM.

James Goodman said...

Great visual, Bernita.

Dennie McDonald said...

awwww - I liek that!

Dennie McDonald said...

but I can't spell aparently (no coffee yet)

Bernita said...

Glad you liked it, James and Dennie.
Thank you.

jason evans said...

Yes, it is very beautiful. The picture too.

Powerful, Bernita. Simply powerful.

Rick said...

Outremer! Using that word in a contemporary context is as haunting as any of the imagery.

Lady M said...

I think it is extremely sad.

Did anyone else get that?

It was like the death of a child. But the woman able to say - He's ok now.

Oh... Gosh B - I dunno why I have such a tragic thought process on it.

It's well crafted and it evokes such a depth of sadness in me.

You're a very talented writer.

Lady M

Bernita said...

Thank you, Jason, just realized I can use my new scanner for things other than Hang-Ups!

That particular word compels me like a spell, Rick.

Sela Carsen said...

I agree with Rick on the use of the word "outremer." It sounds so out-of-time, but it blended beautifully with the theme of the piece. Lovely. And I found it quite hopeful at the end. A loss of childhood, rather than the loss of a child. I guess we all read into it what bagagge we bring.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Lady M.
Not death - just the danger of it.

Bernita said...

Sela, thank you.
That was partly my intent...the putting away of safe, childish things.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

What???What????WHAT HAPPENED!!!!Augghhh!!!! Don't leave me hanging like that.....more tell me more!!!!

Bernita said...

He came back safely, Bonnie.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Oh, no you don't..LOL..more poetry, more fluidity....more heartwrenching, knee dropping tears, my dear!!!! LOL

Bernita said...

The rest of the story is mundane, Bonnie.
These moments are rare.

Rowan said...

That snippet should not be read while listening to "Into the West" from LotR: Return of the King. Waaay to perfect.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

So make it 'not' mundane...let's go girl...I know you have it in ya'! LOL

Bernita said...

Aww, Rowan. Thank you.

Sorry, Bonnie, just a moment in time when the Otherworld briefly shows itself.

Mark Pettus said...

Bernita,

"the rest of the story is mundane."

For me, there can be no "rest of the story." The incompleteness of this one is what gives it such power. Not knowing who owned that stuffed dog gives me right to attach it to anyone, and anything I want, and once I do, it becomes my story -

This story is anything but mundane. Wonderful.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Mark. Glad it did that for you.

Shesawriter said...

"the silence fell like dust"

Damn. That's simply beautiful, Bernita. LOVE it!

Bernita said...

Thank you, Tanya.
Liked that one best myself.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Waaaaa!!!LOL

I really did like it. I'm just greedy!