Monday, March 20, 2006

The Doctor in the House

Bonnie ( see sidebar) complained about John's apparent absence from an earlier scene from Trio of Dragons where there's been a ruckus.
So to satisfy her ( with one eye on Blogger - that has eaten with alarming regularity any original dissertations) I'll post something more easily retrievable.

John arrived hot on the heels of the doctor, a good-looking young fellow in turtleneck and jeans, who expressed mild disapproval of Connors' presence with his eyebrows.

A quiet "He stays" from Damie surprised them both.

She sat, still pale, but clean and composed, on the bed, a Chinese dressing gown brocaded with delicate branches wrapped demurely around her.

Constable Brimley busied herself putting away the en-suite hair dryer and stood ready to assist.

The doctor shrugged, dropped his bag on the bed and strolled into the bathroom to wash his hands.

Wrenching his gaze away from that glistening fall of hair, John walked to the window and stood staring at the fountain outside, rocking back and forth on his heels, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Dreadfully exciting thing late this morning, hmmm?" commented the doctor cheerfully. "I gather you were one of the unfortunates trampled in the melee?"

John heard the blood pressure gauge being pumped.

"Hmmm."

"You could say that," Damie responded in a credibly neutral voice.

"Hmm, breathe in, please...Exhale...Again...Hmm."

"We'll just slide this down...Tell me if this hurts...Hmmm?"

"Ouch," said Damie obligingly.

" Just lie back now...Nasty abrasion on your leg here...hmmm. Let's see now..."

A silken rustle.

"Hmm...We'll just slide this up a bit...a little more...Hmmm!"

A gasp from Damie.

"Oh my, that's the most perfect...hmmm!

John found he had rammed both hands in his pockets and clenched them into fists.

More rustlings. Silky.

"You can look now, Inspector."

Was the doctor's voice the tiniest bit dry?

John turned. The doctor was frowning over her hand, manipulating her wrist and fingers.

"Hmm...What happened here? Looks as if someone stomped on it..."

"A size 11 shoe, I suspect," said Damie.

John winced.

25 comments:

Ric said...

Up and about early this morning as usual.

Just curious, when do you write? Do you do it in the early mornings when the sun is coming up over Nova Scotia? Or after lunch? Or deep into the evening?

This is great stuff, Bernita. Stop teasing us and get those query letters out.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Ric.
You are always so generous with encouragement.
I cling to it in between fits of cowardice.
During this present era I've been writing in the morning, plotting at night, but there is no set period.

Savannah Jordan said...

I love the inuendo of the silken rustles and John's reaction of shoving his fists in his pockets, Bernita. Leads the readers mind to so many possibilities. (At least it does mine...)

Bernita said...

Thank you, Savannah.
It was meant to, but I've wondered if it was too understated.
We know from earlier that John has speculative hots for her, but I want it to be a growing thing, not instaneous..er..um...you know, as you sometimes see page 3, sees her first time, instant erection.

Savannah Jordan said...

Instant erections are a thing of hard reality, unfortunately. I love the building tension, the give-and-take of intimacy. "Brace yourself, Honey, here I come" just ain't sexy. Give me silken rustles, give me slow seduction...

Erik Ivan James said...

Ya know, Bernita, if ya won't kill 'im off, how about changing his name to 'Erik'. That way......

Great scene as usual. The one description that is absolutely superb, is &%#@*!$ standing at the window. Just as good as a photograph.

I agree with Ric. If you are close to a finished product, start working on the query letters.

"Don't be so damn difident!":}

Dennie McDonald said...

like the ending of the scene!

I think Savannah said it all about John - good job!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Ooh...delicious titillation! I thought John was about to punch both fists into the man's head...hehehe!

That was a great scene....but...hehehe...Damie and John didn't get to interact much! *She whines...hoping to pry an additional scene from Bernita's muse*

Erik Ivan James said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bernita said...

~laughing helplessly~
My dears, you make me feel I should close a query letter with "my blogging friends like this story..."

Thank you, Dennie.
When she first meets him and is giving him the cold eye, up and down, he says "I wear size 11 shoe."

Erik, you WOULD throw that back at me.
Thank you, dear guy.
Hmmm, maybe as his middle name?

I entirely agree, Savannah. Sensual. Save the description attention of attention to when he salutes.

~gasp~
!!!!
Bonnie!!!!!!!!!
Are you asking for a SEX scene??
A nekkid-in-the-bed/on-the-floor/on-the-grass SEX SCENE?
Well, well, well...
I'll have to think about the advisability of that.

Bernita said...

Ooooh!
Seems John is not the only one with an imagination!

Robyn said...

I'm with Bonnie. :)

Savannah Jordan said...

Erik~ I knew he didn't have an erection. *sigh* I know body language, I knew that he shoved his fists in his pocket to keep from hitting the doc. Do you think that's all we women think your guys's pockets are for???

Erik Ivan James said...

Savannah,
I apologize if I misread the thread that seemed to me to be starting. Sorry.

Bernita said...

Robyn, thank you.
You want a sex scene too?

Yeah, Erik...

Bernita said...

Oh crap!
Don't unravel the thread...

Savannah Jordan said...

We interrupt this broadcast for a line of commentary from one of our usual contributors...

Sorry, Everybody, I didn't mean to unravel anything intentionally woven... I just wanted it made certain that I knew what Bernita meant with the "hands in the pockets" line.

We return you now to your regular program already in progress...

Bernita said...

Oh crap.
I wasn't hitting anyone over the knuckles.
That was meant mock-mournful, while enjoying it.
All these "threads" are welcome.
The more the merrier.

Gabriele C. said...

Lol, sure John wants to hit the doctor who probably meant something like, "this is the most perfect bruise/abrasion." Docs have a weird sense of beauty and perfection sometimes. :)

While John's mind was a bit in the gutter. ;)

Bernita said...

Gabriele, you are right on!

In fact just a little later the doctor comments on how perfect a medical text example she has on one hip.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Uh....oh, my...SEXUAL....did I say that???LOL Well...interaction....let's see...talking...touching....pushing her out of the way of the lecherous doctor...those all count as interaction...LOL...don't they!

Oh, hell, sex scene...if you must...I'll just cover...one eye! LOL

Shesawriter said...

Bernita,

You are way too prolific. I'm getting a tad jealous.

Tanya

Lady M said...

I was thinking he was shoving his fists in his pockets because she had a bruise - and he was pissed off - protective - but couldn't do anything about it, except stand by and watch another (or know that another) man was touching her... even if he was helping her.

Just my take.

The writing is a bit elusive - but I think if you saw it all in one reading - all of them in chronological order - with the inbetween stuff, it wouldn't be so elusive.

Your writing reminds me of Kerouc's writing.

More into the imagination of the reader with prods from the writer.

It's very good.

Lady M

Carla said...

It's not too understated, or not for me. I like understated.

Bernita said...

Bonnie. Unveiled.

Tanya, jealousy is unlikely and beneath you - but a nice compliment.

Thank you Carla and Lady M.
Always the bedevilling question - not enough 2x4, or too gentle a nudge.