Monday, December 12, 2005

Bathtub Sex

T'other day, blogrollin around, came across a series of sites by writers of erotic fiction.
Some were National Geographic style, others were explicit excerpt passages.
Made me feel like a voyeur.
Some writers make you identify with the ...um...participants.
Others make you feel as if you're just peeking up from behind the headboard, the couch, or where ever.
Of course, it got me thinking about the various ways sex is handled in novels. Some use street talk. Others strive to find new "euphemisms." Which sometimes make you laugh yourself sick.
Whatever.
I like sex in novels, if it's appropriate to the story. Explicit doesn't send me for the smelling salts.
But what is this style of always having them in the bathtub?
Saw so many it made me wonder if this was a new fetish/cultural association or something.
Bathtubs are usually awkward, cramped places. C'mon.
So are many showers.
Yet, neither enthusiast ever seem to bang their heads, shins, or elbows.
They never suffer from the effects of soap or bubble bath on viscosity.
They never get soap in their eyes.
Or in their mouths.
That cracks me up. When he's tasted her rosy mounds rising from the bubbles, all I can think of is "Hey buddy, you've just had your mouth washed out with soap!"
They never drop the body wash or slip on the bar or flood the apartment below. You get the idea.
Are there that many Roman style baths and jacuzzis in countries and centuries?
Maybe I just haven't been around enough.
Chandeliers ( swinging from, which see) seems almost reasonable by comparison.
And I always wonder who's going to wipe up all the water.

19 comments:

Sela Carsen said...

Showers, yes. Especially if they're big, roomy ones. *gg* Bathtubs, no. Not so much. Why doesn't anyone ever realize that water is the enemy of, er, wetness?

Sela Carsen said...

BTW, you're tagged in The Book And I meme! http://selacarsen.blogspot.com/2005/12/book-and-i.html#comments

Savannah Jordan said...

Tub sex sux -- don't like it, won't write it. I did try a shower scene in my recent WIP (to great acclaim from test readers). As to 'street' language, I cannot bring myself to type THOSE words. I mean, how is that sexy?? Eww. Sorry, but they can keep their c*cks, c*nts, d*cks and p*ssy's themselves...

Ric said...

I agree with Savannah. Everyone has all the parts, we don't need descriptions in street language. I have a shower scene in my latest and my beta readers commented on "when the hot water ran out and they moved to the bed..." conveys the intensity and length - and apparently is something at least a few people can relate to.
Who knew?

Bernita said...

Sela, er...um...thanks...
Savanna, I don't use those words in real life, I don't THINK in terms of those words so I don't use them in my writing.
I'm not prissy mouthed or prissy minded, but come to think of it I've only used the f-word about 5 times in my life.Mind you, it was effective when I did.
Just can't find bathtub scenes sexy.Or street terms, either.

Sandra Ruttan said...

If you drop by PJ Parrish's blog
http://pjparrish.blogspot.com/
on the left side there's a button for 'More Bad Sex'.

DO NOT read while drinking milk, unless you want to snort it through your nose.

Bernita said...

Went and looked, Sandra.
Enough to turn one celibate.
Wouldn't spew mik, would sour it.
As some one commented, these people make fun of genre writers?

Sela Carsen said...

I checked out that link, too.I still don't get the Tom Wolfe word. It doesn't make any sense at all. Talk about your non-erogenous zones.

Anyway, Bernita, there aren't any questions to the meme. Just 15 things about you and books. Any 15 things you like.

Gabriele C. said...

Lol, I have a real Roman bath in real Roman times. With two men.

Don't blame me, blame the bath. And the men. If you imagine one looking like a younger Antonio Banderas (think Thirteenth Warrior) and the other like Orlando Bloom, what can a girl do? :-)

MissWrite said...

I remember reading about one that had a sex in the tub scene where the guy rolled over and went to sleep!

Talk about drowning in ecstasy!

Bernita said...

Gabriele, ...oh GIRL...was wondering for a moment there...
Miss Write just made me choke.
I think Ric's wiser to stick with showers.

Tsavo Leone said...

I sometimes wonder just what the point of any given sex scene in a novel is. Maybe it's just a guy thing (my POV that is). Sex is sex, simple as that, and if it serves a purpose within the context of the story then so be it. However, if it's just literary masturbation...

And whilst I'm wittering on, would someone mind enlightening me as to what the difference between literary erotica and literary pornography is? Is it simply that one of them is considered more 'tasteful' than the other?

Anyway, it does make me chuckle when the annual Bad Sex awards come around though; this year saw Salman Rushdie very near the top of the list. Forget the fatwah(?); I think Hugh Hefner will be putting a price on Rushdie's head next...

Oh, and for my money, a sauna would be the best place for any kind of (literary) liasion... although the shower does have it's merits too.

M. G. Tarquini said...

You so don't want to know how I open one of my novels. Wait, maybe you do. Not one body part named, not one objectionable term used, but everybody reads that chapter all the way to the end and fans him/herself after. The novel still needs serious revision, else I'd be querying it.

It's integral to the plot, else it wouldn't be there. That's the only reason for a sex scene to be in a novel, unless somebody's writing straight porn.

Here's what makes me laugh. I'll be reading along and bam! The protag and a random girl, or a random boy, depends on the protag, are in bed together. That's around page 50 or so, almost like the editor said - 'Insert (so to speak) sex scene here.)

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Yikes, this is a little out of my league. I write Christian fiction and all of this subject is a definite...no-no, nyet, nada, not-in-this-lifetime or the one beyond!

Sex always happens off screen, only between married people and crap is a disallowed word, let alone the ones mentioned here. Yikes!

Bernita said...

Bonnie just gave me a Bath Sheba moment there.
Some of the "literary' sex is more filthy than honest porn.Some seem to go out of their way to make it unappealing.Very monkish, in a strange way. As Sela says, non-erogenous.
Don't have an answer to that, Tsavo.
And M.G describes what I call a true WTF moment...

Kate D. said...

In the books I read, the common thing is men with damp eyelashes kneeling to give the best oral sex of the heroine's life... in the shower! No one ever gets aching knees, or so much water in the fact that they just give up on being amorous.

Truly fiction, folks.

Bernita said...

Yep.

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