Tuesday, November 01, 2005

"The Object"

Now the finale of this slush-pile scenario.

The suspect, as it turned out, had sequestered in various hidey-holes in his room, three rifles with appropriate ammunition, the floor plans of five banks, and sundry other aggressive and uncivil items that entertained the police to no end.
He also had a rap sheet three and one half pages long.
With this arsenal at hand, this career criminal had chosen to construct a catapult from a bicycle inner tube on the back of a kitchen chair.
And the Object?
That black, slightly-larger-than-a-golf-ball Object that crashed through the windows of our guest room?
It was a china figurine - similar to those found in packages of orange pecoe tea - representing the Three Wise Monkeys...

Now, if one's innocent aluminum windows are going to be shockingly shattered in the middle of the night, if one acquires the services of the SWAT team and the attention of someone like Det.Sgt. Honey, one has every right to expect the edge of High Crime, Ludlum plots, stalking madmen, mistaken assassins or the Mafia - in other words - Real Drama.
What do we get?
We get - I cannot help it, I'm sorry - a case of arrested development.

9 comments:

Ric said...

Fun story.
Did the guy just get bored? Or did I miss something?

Neat idea to spread it out over a few days, just like an old time serial.

Nice job, Bernita.

Gabriele C. said...

Lol, that's something your family and the police department can tell at several Christmas meetings in a row. Very funny - and charmingly told.

Though I think they're right to have started out considering this a dangerous situation. It could have been malice intent, after all.

Bernita said...

Thank you, Ric. We think he may have been practising - with some sort of ingenious criminality in mind, but boredom is a possibility.
Glad you enjoyed it, Gabriele. It became inevitably, part of the family opus of tales.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Oh, Bernita! That was priceless. You should submit that one. It's amazing how fact can be stranger than fiction. Good job!

Bernita said...

Thank you, Bonnie.I imagine this sort of stuff is a dime a dozen though.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Not the way you write it!

Bernita said...

Bonnie, you have a dear and generous heart.

Mark Pettus said...

See no evil
Speak no evil
Slingshot no evil

He'd have saved himself a lot of trouble by crossing the street and apologizing, wouldn't he?

Bernita said...

And offered to pay for the window?
Don't think so, Mark, the circumstances were so peculiar that we probably would have called the police in any event.